Enough!

I recall that some of the worst of my mother’s alcohol-fueled episodes were when I was older, likely around high school age. By then I knew that something was wrong and I figured out that it was the alcohol that turned her into an angry monster but I couldn’t understand why my father wouldn’t put…

School supplies.

After School

I somehow always got the sense that I was different (not normal, at least). Even when I was a young child, people would compliment me, tell my parents what a mature, responsible, and respectful young girl I was. I liked being complimented and my parents liked having their method of parenting complimented as well. I…

A wooden chest.

The Chest

I think I must have been 9 or 10 years old when I first used the chest. The chest was a relatively large storage unit that I would put my toys in. It was never organized, never neat, and I know that my mother hated it. I didn’t mind because it was organized chaos and…

An elephant's eye.

An Elephant in the Livingroom

In the book on adult children of alcoholics After the Tears: Helping Adult Children of Alcoholics Heal Their Childhood Trauma by Middelton-Moz and Dwinell, the alcoholism or dysfunction in a family is referred to as the “elephant in the living room” which I find to be a very apt description. There is this elephant living in the…

A broken mirror.

My Virtual Escape and the Mirror

I played video games quite a bit as a kid, especially several MMORPGs (massively multiplayer online roleplaying games, for you non-gamers). It was an escape for me where I could be someone else in another world and another life. These games were a place where I was actually someone who mattered, where people cared about…

On Being Normal

I guess I never knew what normal was growing up. I thought I was a normal kid with a normal life and normal friends, but that changed as I began to grow older. At night, my father and I would have a ritual of watching television together, usually around 7 or 8 PM and before…